Approach A Hot Girl (Because She Wants It Too)

Next time you see a really hot woman in some bar or nightclub, I want you to stop your mind for a second.

Because for many guys, what’s going on in their minds is this:

“Oh, man, look at that hot chick! I wanna talk with her… but… she’s out of my league, or she probably has a boyfriend already, or I’ll just screw up somehow”.

That’s not exactly what will make you successful with women.

Instead, think this:

“Look at that sweetie. She put at that time and effort into dressing up like that, and look at her hair and makeup. She did all of that to get attention, she enjoys attention. I’m gonna give her some, she’ll like it.”

Do you get that?

It’s much better than: “Oh, I couldn’t talk with a girl like that.”

And it’s true: if she’s made herself up like this, she did so because she DOES want attention.

And if you want to get good with girls, then you should not let a chance like this pass.

The Risk Of Approaching Women

Let’s dig a little deeper into that whole approach anxiety issue herem because it’s bugging so many guys.

In fact, I’m going to talk about any kind of anxiety and give you a logical, reality-based framework here.

Because fear is something that really switches off our brains and makes us dumb. And it’s a good idea to have something at your disposal that helps to counter that tendency.

Here is a test every time you run into some kind of anxiety.

Ask yourself:

Is this something where I could gain a lot, and the risk is relatively small? (Even if I screw up or get unlucky, will I be able to deal with the bad outcome?)

Is this something where I could gain a little, and the risk is relatively big? (If I screw up or get unlucky, will I be able to deal with the bad outcome?)

If it’s a situation where the risk is relatively small, then just do it.

But if it’s a big risk, then try to find another thing to do.

Now, when you approach a woman… the risk is kind of nill.

The “bad” outcome would be that this women wouldn’t be interested in you, but your life would basically be not affected.

Yeah, the secret jealous boyfriend that you didn’t know about could walk up and stab you with a knife for talking to his girlfriend (might really happen if you by any chance pick some druglords gf. But com’on… chances are, you’ll win the lottery twice in a row before that happens).

Now I know that this kind of logical reasoning won’t change anything about how you’re feeling when you approach a woman.

That gut-wrenching anxiety is still there.

But the purpose of this was simply to check if it’s worth actively doing something to get over that fear or not.

If you really want to get good with girls, you need to work on this.

My Approaching Women Weekend

A lot of guys have a hard time approaching girls. Mainly because they’re afraid of it.

If you’re one of them, then I want you to approach at least ten girls a day. Just say hi, talk to them a bit. You don’t need to turn it into a full-blown conversation.

This exercise is not about getting a girls number. It’s not even about making her like you.

It’s not even about “becoming better at approaching girls”.

It’s just about learning something.

No matter what happens – you can’t fail. Even if you walk up to a girl and say “hi”, and she gives you that disgusted look and tells you: “Get out of my face, you dork”, it wouldn’t matter.

(Btw. the chances of that happening are at around 1/5464).

All that matters is that you do it. Even if you’re afraid, you just do it. Even if you’re clumsy and start to stutter and blush, just do it.

You might now want to do it with the woman in your office that you work with every day, but instead with some random strange women that you don’t know.

Heck, I once drove for a weekend to another city to do JUST THAT. And I wanted to make sure that nobody who knows me sees me screwing up.

And I did spent my entire weekend just chatting up different women that I saw on the street, and in cafes, bars, shopping malls.

And you know what?

The me that went drove away for the weekend, and the me that came back from the weekend, those were two different mes.

So was it worth the driving and staying in a guesthouse for a night?

You bet it was.

It’s just one of these things that you can do to really become better with the girls.

Attracing Girls Is Scary?

I understand that it can feel scary for a man to approach a hot woman.

Heck, for the first twentysomething years of my life, it scared the crap out of me.

But you just gotta get over it. I’m serious. You just gotta get over it.

In a way, it’s natural selection at work.

Nature, or god, or whatever higher power you believe in, wants good qualities to be passed on, and bad qualities to fade out.

Now, courage is a good quality.

And if you don’t have the courage to walk up to a girl and make her feel attraction towards you, then you have the quality of shyness and social fear. And those are negative things.

And you’re basically accepting that you’re not worthy of that girl.

Someone else, who has more courage, is worthy of her.

If you were a girl – wouldn’t you want a man that can actually express what he wants? And then go and get it?

Instead of a man that’s too afraid to even express his wishes?

If this is an issue for you, then you need to fix it before you even think about pick up lines.

Fake-Eyed Caterpillars

Nature is a really amazing thing.

Take caterpillars.

We can learn a lot from them about dating.

What are you talking about, dude? Caterpillar dating?

Yeah, yeah.

See, caterpillars often have those “fake eyes”.

It’s basically color spots on their skin that look like eyes.

And they have them to protect themselves from mofo-birds that would otherwise munch on them at every chance they get.

But the birds just see those eyes and stay away from them. Because they “recognize” that this pair of eyes belongs to some baaad snake that likes to munch away on birds.

Quote from this article:

when it comes to a deadly encounter with another species, there may be no second chances, no opportunity for learning. Hence, natural selection would favor instant recognition, and hard-wired rapid responses, in a close encounter with potential danger. Harmless creatures that evolved some general resemblance to the variety of creature features to be avoided (eyes, scale patterns) would then gain some protection.

Instant recognition, hard wired rapid responses… Now, these kinds of programs do not just exist in birds. They also exist in humans.

Think about it. Seeing a caterpillar with those “fake eyes” scares the shit out of a bird, instantly, instinctively.

But what danger does a caterpillar really pose to a bird?

None. Zero. Nada. Nilch.

Yet, just because the birds brain is hardwired for an instant rapid flight reaction, it misses out on that nice lunchtime opportunity.

It’s all because of a totally irrational fear, a perceived danger that only exists in their minds.

Now, do you sometimes feel shy approaching women?

Yeah, they don’t have “fake eyes” (or, depending upon how much mascara they use, they do).

But do they really pose any kind of danger or threat? Is there any reason to be afraid of approaching them?

No. Nothing could really happen.

Yet, it’s as if in your brain there is an instant, rapid response that makes you feel scared of doing so – and you miss out on that nice dating time opportunity.

Sometime, you have to re-wire yourself. You have to awaken the natural predator in you, and skip the B.S.

Abundance & Approach Anxiety

Think of a really hot girl right now. One that’s just a pure stunner.

She get’s hit on a hundred times a week by all kinds of guys. Some guys actually walk up to her and talk to her. Some guys just look at her, hoping that something is going to happen that will bring them together. But she gets SIGNALS from guys every day.

That’s why it’s easy for her to blow a guy off. Because guys basically are a replaceable commodity for her – she can always get another one. So she is not concerned about “screwing up her chances” with some random guy that’s looking at her or talking to her.

She’s got “boy abundance”. That’s why she’s not nervous when she talks with a guy. That guy is nothing special. It’s just one of many.

In fact – that’s part of what makes her even more attractive, because it kind of gives her that attitude of aloofness. And we human beings usually like to have what is hard to get.

Now, if you can adapt that mindset, then you can do the same with her.

What’s funny is – if you have that abundance mindset with women, then they’ll react completely different to you. Because all of the sudden, you talk with her in a different way than 99% of the other guys who have a scarcity mindset when it comes to women. And that suddenly turns YOU into a rare and precious thing for her.

In dating, you always want to have the upper hand.

Approach Anxiety: The Diamond Girl

A lot of guys treat women like diamonds. They treat them that way both in the real world, and in their own mind.

And it’s doing them no good.

Because when something is so precious, it can make you careful and worrysome that you might “lose it”.

And then you’ll put her on a pedestal and just nod your head and accept all the bullshit that she gives you.

(And believe me – women will give you bullshit. Not necessarily because they’re messed up, but because they want to TEST you: are you a man that knows how to handle a woman’s BS?)

So take on an abundance mindset when it comes to women.

And an abundance mindset is really a much more realistic attitude towards women than a scarcity mindset.

Because the world’s population is somewhere around 6.7 billion people now. And about half of them are women.

There are more women on this earth than you could possibly even look at. There are even more HOT women on this earth than you could look at all your life.

So don’t be afraid to let go of one of them. Don’t be afraid to screw up your chances with her. She’s not a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity. She is just one of many, and you can check her out to see if she’s worth more of your time and attention.

It’s stuff like this that you need to know if you want to get good with girls.