Flirting With Women

Flirting with women is something that doesn’t come natural to most men. Because women communicate – and flirt – in different ways than men: they pay attention to other things, they care about other things, they say things differently, and they even understand words and gestures differently from how most men intend them to be.

Many men make the mistake of thinking that women want nice men. But that’s simply not true. They don’t want an asshole either, but they want someone who has a lot of self-confidence, and in fact, it’s better to be too much one the side of arrogance than too much on the side of humility. (If you have an issue with that, I suggest you start working on your confidence with women).

Many men feel uncomfortable flirting, because flirting automatically implies that you have taken sexual interest in her. The trick is to confidently communicate that you do have an interest in her – but do it ambiguously!

Women love to be teased. Teasing basically means that you send mixed messages to a girl. You invite her – and then when she takes you up on the invitation, you basically shut the door in front of her. (Figuratively speaking, not literally).

Here’s an example: if you help a girl to get in a car by holding her hand, keep holding her hand for a couple of seconds – and then take it away and say: “It’s too early to be holding hands now.” – You basically pretend her, acting as if it was her idea to hold your hand. Of course, that’s not correct, but it works! It’s a game. And that’s really how you should look at flirting: as a game.

And women enjoy playing that game. And so should you – just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t play. In fact, flirting is the game for adults, and it’s supposed to be fun. A lot of people are anxious about it. A lot of people are way to serious about it. They think: oh, this is not correct, or that is not correct – but that’s not what it is about. It’s like paying poker without cards and money. You can play tricks, you can bluff. That’s how you need to approach it. Be playful about it, have fun with it – this is what makes you irresistible to the girls.

(Now, don’t fabricate stuff – don’t tell her you’re a successful silicon valley entrepreneur when you’re a pizza delivery guy or anything like that – that’s not bluffing or playing tricks, that’s just plain old lying, and you really don’t need to do that kind of stuff if you are good at flirting with women).

If you have fun when you flirt with women, then it becomes a self-reinforcing habit: it will become something that you can do easily and automatically when there’s a woman around that you find attractive, and you’ll become better and better at it.

Here’s another thing about flirting with women:

If you act as if you’ve “figured her out” already, then she’ll be really intrigued. When you notice a woman is doing a certain thing, playing a certain “card”, pulling of a little trick or doing a little “test”, then simply laugh at how cute she is. You’ll be amazed at how women react to that – they’ll freak out over it, because they feel that all the buttons that they can usually push to have other men do what they want them to do don’t work with you – and that they’re up against a man for the first time who’s in control of the situation.

This is Part I of the flirting article – read on for more flirting advice.

Leave a Comment